[ Children Chattering ]
[ Woman Narrating ] People have always trusted me with their secrets.
But who do I trust with mine?
You. Only you.
The first day of a new term.
Here come the local pubescent proles...
the future plumbers and shop assistants...
and doubtless the odd terrorist too.
[ Shouting, Chattering ]
In the old days, we confiscated cigarettes and wank mags.
Now it's knives and crack cocaine.
And they call it progress.
[ Boy ] Roger.!
- [ Boy ] Piss off!. - Tony. Tony.
Mrs. Hart, art department.
1 51 7, Martin Luther nails his 95 points...
to a church door in Wittenberg-
[ School Bell Rings ]
[ Girl ] Poison granny.
Piss off, you prick.
Before we begin, for those of you who haven't delivered your reports...
please lob them in my general direction.
Thank you, Bill. Thank you, Mary.
Thank you,John. Thank you, Elaine.
Ah. Has everyone met our new art teacher, Sheba Hart?
- Hello. - I've asked Sheba to sit in on this meeting.
As you all know, I regard the arts...
as absolutely essential to our policy of reform through nurture.
Thank you, Chris.
Very good. Very good. Ah, thank you, Sue.
I say, that's a big one, isn't it?
I'll be up till the crack of dawn. [ Chuckles ]
Anyone else not handed in their homework? Right.
And, uh, thank you.
Lovely. Thank you.
Barbara?
This is your report? On the history department?
On its entire workings?
And your general thoughts for its future development?
You'll find it's quite thorough, Headmaster.
''The history department functions much as one would expect...
''for a school of this stature and intake.
''Examination results have been consistent for 30 years...
''below the national average but above the level of catastrophe.
Recommendation: no change necessary. ''
Took me most of the summer to write it.
[ Barbara Narrating ] Hard to read the wispy novice.
[ Boy ] Piss off, you prick.
Is she a sphinx or simply stupid?
All right. Off the phone, please. Give me the phone.
- Artfully disheveled today. - [ Chattering Continues ]
The tweedy tramp coat is an abhorrence.
It seems to say, ''I'm just like you. ''
But clearly she's not.
- A fey person, I suspect. - Stop it, girls.Just stop it.
Fey.
[ Boy ] Oi, oi. Pass it. Yes. Come over here. Very good.
- Yeah! - [ Chattering ]
- [ Barbara ] Put your shirt on. - I got the winner, miss.
Glory be! Shirt!
[ Boys Chattering ]
[ Barbara Narrating ] She has certainly rippled the waters of our stagnant pond.
They flock to her.
Even limp little Brian had a go.
Oh, the horror.
- Hiya. - Oh, hello.
- That's a lovely blouse. - What? Oh!
[ Barbara Narrating ] And ''Fatty''Hodge has pounced on her.
A dubious double act.
The blonde and the pig in knickers.
I just went past the art studio. It's like bloody Lord of the Flies in there.
- Have they gone for her? - They've torn her posters down. There's a full-on paint fight.
They're chanting, ''Get your tits out for the lads.''
- Girls too. It's carnage. - [ Man ] How was madam?
Completely lost it. ''Stop it! Stop it, you little fucking bastards!''
- You should have stepped in. - Well, he didn't want to patronize the little lady.
She'll be all right. This time next year, she'll be headmistress.
- Oh, Christ! Will you shut up! - Sorry. Sorry.
Char, anyone?
- Babs? - Milk, no sugar.
- Sweet enough? - Evidently.
- [ Chuckles ] - Didn't her father invent inflation?
- You what? - Wasn't her dad that academic, Donald whatsit?
Economics bloke. Invented the word ''inflation. ''
Oh, yeah. Yeah, yeah. I know who you mean.
I think you'll find that Mrs. Hart's father was Professor Ronald Taylor.
He didn't invent ''inflation.''
He devised a theory about the relationship...
between inflation and consumer expectation.
[ Chattering ]
[ Sheba ] Please get offhim.! Stop it.!
[ Boy ] You're an arsehole.!
[ Sheba ] Stop it.!
[ Students Chanting ] Fight.! Fight.! Fight.! Fight.!
Fight! Fight! Fight! Fight!
- [ Chanting Continues ] - [ Sheba Shouting, Indistinct ]
You're going to hurt one another. Now stop it.! Please get offhim.!
- [ Shouting Continues ] - Enough! Outside!
Now.!
[ Boys Chattering ]
- [ Boys Laughing ] - [ Boy ] You're a wanker.
- Fuck off!. - [ Barbara ] Absolute silence.! Absolute.!
Why were they fighting, Mrs. Hart?
Their motive was unclear.
Davis I know. You're a little thug. Who might you be?
- Steven Connolly, miss. - What?
- Steven Connolly, miss. - Year?
Year 1 0, miss.
You're the naked footballer. Why were you fighting?
- It's a perfectly simple question. - Don't know, miss.
You don't know. One minute you're an inert lump...
the next you're trying to castrate a fellow pupil.
Nothing occurred between these two states?
- No, miss. - Don't play the hero with me, Connolly.
Yes. Brain. Mouth. Speak.
He was saying stuff about miss. It was bang out of order.
- What did you say? - I never said nothin', miss.
''I didn't say anything. '' What did he say? Come on.!
He said she's a tart.
He said he gave her one up the arse.
Did you, indeed? Odious boy.
- Apologize at once. - Sorry, miss.
Deputy head in the morning. Get back inside, both of you.
Little towers of testosterone. You'll soon get used to them.
Thank you so much.
I better- Oh, I'm sorry. We haven't met properly, have we?
- I'm Sheba Hart. - Barbara Covett.
[ Nervous Chuckling ]
[ Barbara Narrating ] Her voice is pure...
as ifher mouth were empty and clean...
as if she'd never had a filling.
The complexion of a white peach.
One can almost see her veins.
Her trendy politics are similarly transparent.
We serve them best if we teach them to read, write and add.
They don't need to know about the basket weavers of Chile.
- Barbara's very keen on the basics. - But when you started...
I mean, didn't you want to give them a real education...
to help them overcome the poverty of their backgrounds?
Oh, yes, of course.
But one soon learns that teaching is crowd control.
Come here!
We're a branch of the social services.
Put that back, you!
[ Indistinct Shouting ]
Console yourself with the gems. That's when it's satisfying.
Then you can make a real difference.
The rest is just cattle prod and pray.
[ Barbara Narrating ] I can see why others are beguiled by her.
Oh, hello.
But I wonder if she possesses the requisite heft.
- Do you fancy a coffee? - Yeah.
- [ Woman ] Sheba.! - [ Phone Beeping ]
- Sorry. I- - That's the year 1 1 s. They're a nightmare.
- Sue, do you want to join us? Just going for a quick coffee. - Great.
Um- [ Clears Throat ] I've got a bit of an announcement.
You're leaving St. George's?
- No. - Oh, you're pregnant.
That's fantastic.
Oh, congratulations. When are you due?
- June the 7th. - A summer baby. How lovely.
I can't believe that nobody's noticed. I'm 1 4 weeks.
- Oh. - Didn't you see how chunky I'm getting?
Didn't like to say. Where are you having it?
- Homerton. It's really nice there. - [ Sheba ] Oh, right.
Lovely, friendly nurses.
I'm going to find out at the next scan- 20 weeks.
Do you want to come to lunch on Sunday?
- Where? - To mine. To our house.
- Won't you be with your family? - Yes, but you're very welcome.
Oh, it's no big deal. I'll just do a lasagna or something.
I adore lasagna.
[ Barbara Narrating ] Bliss. A merry flag...
on the arctic wilderness of my calendar.
One must make an effort when one receives an invitation.
The art of it is seeming not to.
Lasagna tends to disagree with my bowels.
I'll ask for a small portion.
- Oh, I think I've got the wrong house. - No. You're bang on.
- I'm Richard. Come in. - Oh.
I'm sorry. I thought-
- That I'd be 20 years younger and twice as handsome. - [ Door Closes ]
- Bash! - [ Sheba ] The kitchen's on fire.!
Sorry if you were out there long. The, uh-The bell's knackered.
- Hi, Barbara. - Hello.
Oh, what a splendid room.
What can I get you? We're, uh- We're semi-pro drinkers here. You name it.
[ Barbara ] I would like a dry sherry, please.
Ah. Uh, I think we might have some apricot brandy knocking around.
- Uh, dry white wine. - Done. Have a seat.
- [ Richard ] Where's the, uh, wine? - [ Sheba Speaks, Indistinct ]
[ Richard ] Well, scrape it. Do you want to- For a moment. Is it in the fridge?
You must be Polly. I'm Barbara.
Hi, Barbara.
[ Clattering ]
[ Polly ] Are you going somewhere?
- Excuse me? - You're all poshed up.
Oh. Uh, I have an appointment.
Uh, later. In town.
[ Dog Barking ]
- Have you always lived here? - Mum inherited it.
- It's her littlejoke. - I only married her for the property. Morning.
- Did Pete go? - [ Polly ] Mmm.
He was welcome to stay.
He's not really into lunch.
Cheers.
Mmm. Are you interested in wine?
Only the drinking part.
- You? - Well, I spent a portion of the summer on the Amalfi coast-
- [ Shouting ] - Here's trouble.
Oh, no, no, no, no. Easy! Rocky! Easy!
Easy, easy, wheezy.
[ Barbara Narrating ] I'd anticipated a suave young lawyer-
- [ Richard ] Barbara? - and two perfect poppets.
- Not so. - [ Richard ] Mmm, mmm, mmm.
She's married some crumbling patriarch.
- He's nearly as old as me. - Ooh! Ah, ah.
And then there's the daughter, a pocket princess.
And, finally, a somewhat tiresome courtjester.
[ Richard ] Ah, lovely. Thank you.
I'm going to be a wizard.
Oh. Is that when you're grown up?
No. He's just been cast in his school play.
- [ Boy ] I'm gonna wear a cape. - Oh.
- I'm the one with the car. - [ Richard ] Amongst next year's cultural highlights...
I greatly look forward to Benjamin Hart...
in the key role of the wizard.
And, indeed, I find myself beside myself with anticipation.
[ Barbara Narrating ] A rogue image swam through me:
hubby's pruney old mouth pursed at Sheba's breast.
## [ Reggae ]
[ Barbara Narrating ] After lunch, a rather mortifying family tradition.
They do things differently in bourgeois bohemia.
## [ Reggae Continues ]
## [ Man Singing ]
Oh. Thank you.
## [ Continues, Indistinct ]
Come on. Come on. Come on.
No.
## [ Man Vocalizing ]
[ Phone Ringing ]
## [ Vocalizing Continues ]
- Ooh! -## [ Continues, Ends ]
- You ready? - Watch out.
- Yes! - Oh.
[ Sheba ] Took me away for our anniversary. It was years ago.
- When we came back, it was here. - [ Gasps ]
- As if by magic. - [ Ben Muttering ]
Oh.
Was supposed to be my studio.
It's more of a refuge, really.
A room of one's own.
[ Sighs ] Is this you?
- [ Chattering ] - [ Sheba ] Mmm.
It was.
Oh, I love these. Such vibrant colors.
Take one. Take two. Have the lot, actually.
- I couldn't possibly. - Honestly, no one else wants them.
Oh, I'll treasure them.
Must be exhausting- running a family and teaching as well.
Oh, I can't wait for term to end.
Roll on, Christmas, and a month of sod-all.
I shouldn't have kidded myself I could teach.
It's just that I- I've spent the last 1 0 years looking after Ben...
and I'm so desperate to get out and do something.
And finally we get him into this great local school, and I'm free to work, and-
You're gonna be a terrific teacher.
Thanks.
But I'm bloody hopeless, and everyone knows it.
Children are feral.
Don't let them sense your anxiety.
- How do you cope? - Oh, I'm just a battle-ax.
I'm not popular, but they respect me.
Well, you're popular with me.
It's strange. I feel I can talk to you.
[ Barbara Narrating ] She spoke ofher vile mother...
her grief over the death ofher father...
the glory days when Richard scooped her up...
and then jettisoned wife and children...
for what she called a nonstop fuck fest.
It's a peculiar trait of the privileged:
immediate, incautious intimacy.
But Sheba went well beyond the tendencies ofher class.
She was utterly candid.
A novice confessing to the mother superior.
You know, marriage and kids- I mean, it's wonderful.
But it doesn't give you meaning.
It gives you an imperative, but it doesn't help you-
My father always used to say- you know, on the tube- ''Mind the gap.''
- Uh- - Oh, I don't know.
It's just the distance between life as you...
dream it and...
life as it is.
I know exactly what you mean.
[ Barbara Narrating ] A gold star day.
I always knew we'd be friends.
Our mutual reserve inhibited us...
but now it is manifest- a spiritual recognition.
[ Man ] At the end of this year, many of you will enjoy Christmas.
[ Barbara Narrating ] ''S''and I share the ability...
to see through the quotidian awfulness of things.
[ Continues, Indistinct ]
In a different, better age, we would be ladies ofleisure...
lunching together, visiting galleries, traveling...
putting the world to rights.
We would be companions.
[ Rhythmic Clapping ]
## [ Singing Christmas Hymn ]
- It's taken. I'm saving it for Sheba. -## [ Continues ]
- Sorry. -## [ Continues ]
- ## [ Clapping Continues ] - [ Whispering ]
## [ Students Continue Singing ]
[ Cheering ]
Very good! Well done!
## [ Boys Singing Christmas Hymn ]
## [ Continues ]
## [ Ends ]
[ Students Chattering ]
Ben, put it in the car, would you, please?
- [ Cell Phone Ringing ] - Ben, pop it in the car, sweetheart. Hello?
I need to speak to you about Steven Connolly.
Who?
Let's not, shall we?
Doubtless you're aware you've committed a criminal offense.
I'll be with you at 5:00.
[ Knocks ]
Let's go to the pub, okay?
- [ Man ] No, Boxing Day- - When-When will you tell them?
I need to know the circumstances.
You must inform me of everything.
Actually, you were there when I first saw him.
- I think you gave him a telling-off. - Yeah!
[ Barbara ] I gave him a slight ticking off.
[ Sheba ] He dedicated his goal to me.
It amused me. Nothing more.
A few days later, he came to see me.
Miss, would you have a look at me drawings, please?
I'll look at them in class. You do art, don't you?
I'm not allowed. I'm special needs.
I gotta do extra reading instead.
Did you do these at home?
These are good. You can draw.
If we pull strings for one child...
the whole system will unravel.
But he's talented. He's actually found something he believes in.
Well, they're all talented.
You found your gem, as Sue would say.
I said that I would teach him after school, but only if he felt like it.
It's our job, isn't it?
Within specified hours and a specified curriculum.
Barbara, he came every day for two weeks.
Yes, I was flattered, but- and more than that.
I was excited to find someone who wanted to learn.
And he imagined a sort of helicopter 500 years ago.
Does your brain in.
[ Barbara ] But surely you must have suspected his motives.
I sensed he had a little crush on me.
But so what? And it was innocent.
That's so much better. You've absolutely got that knuckle.
Nailed it.
Do that again, miss.
Don't be silly. Off you go.
What are you having for tea, miss?
I don't know. Probably buy something on the way home.
- Are you a good cook? - Not really.
You suck?
Go home, Steven.
Well, that's when you should've stopped it.
I did. I told him I wouldn't teach him anymore.
He refused to accept it. He just kept coming back.
- Miss! - [ Students Chattering ]
[ Sheba ] It began to feel like our secret...
and secrets can be... seductive.
- Do you want to come for a walk? - Absolutely not.
I'm going home to my family, as should you.
Miss.
My dad's got the sack. He's been taking it out on me.
[ Sheba ] His father had been hitting him.
- He didn't want to tell his mum because she was ill. - Does your mother know?
Kidney disease.
It's taken months for an operation.
He was so vulnerable.
Well, if he does it again, you tell me.
Thanks, miss.
You're beautiful, miss.
You don't know how beautiful you are.
[ Sheba ] I hadn't been pursued like this for years.
I knew it was wrong and immoral and completely ridiculous...
but I don't know.
I just allowed it to happen.
The boy is 1 5!
But he's quite mature for his age.
''But'' is not a helpful word here.
This is gonna sound sick.
But something in me felt... entitled.
You know, I've been good all my adult life.
I've been a decent wife, dutiful mother, coping with Ben.
This voice inside me kept saying...
''Why shouldn't you be bad? Why shouldn't you transgress?
You've earned the right. ''
I said get out, Denzel. The rest of you get on with your work, please.
- [ Students Shouting ] - Hurry up.
[ Boy ] Still, I wouldn't mind being wingman.
[ Boy #2 ] That's a shame. 'Cause you are as ugly as wank...
and you're never gonna be able to do shit.
[ TV, Indistinct ]
[ Ben Laughing ]
[ Both Laughing ]
Sue phoned. Okay if I meet her for a drink?
Sure. I'll put bug-a-lugs to bed.
[ Steven ] Evening, miss.
[ Train Passing Overhead ]
Make yourself comfortable.
It's incredibly important we keep this secret.
Does anyone know you're here?
No.
- [ Shudders ] - Miss. Miss.
I'm no genius, but I ain't a dickhead.
I won't tell no one.
You can trust me.
We'd both get into terrible trouble.
[ Train Passing ]
It was easy.
Like having another drink when you know you shouldn't.
Can I smoke, miss?
You can do what you want, but enough of this ''miss.''
[ Sighs ]
Were you a model once?
Well, you should have been. You're well fit.
Gosh, but don't I know it.
You're into the Streets?
Oh, well, my daughter is.
She the same age as me?
None of your beeswax.
Well, anyway, the point is you're fit.
- Well, so are you. - You reckon?
My sister thinks I look like a bollock with measles.
You've done my brain in.
[ Laughs ]
[ Sighs ]
[ Train Passing ]
You want to do it again?
[ Laughing ]
- What? - [ Mutters ]
Yes. I want to do it again.
[ Train Passing ]
I want to do it again.
The day we met, it had already begun?
Yes.
Deputy head in the morning.
Noble sentiment, Connolly. Next time words, not fists.
Get inside, both of you.
[ Barbara ] And you had further relations that day?
We went to the art room.
Well, I'm glad I was such an aphrodisiac. I was trying to help you.
Well, you did. I'm incredibly grateful.
You've been such a good friend.
Not reciprocated, it seems.
I desperately wanted to confess to you.
But how could I?
Barbara?
It would have put you in an impossible situation.
I so wish I had.
You would have made me see sense.
[ Barbara Narrating ] And then I realized my fury had blinded me.
There was a magnificent opportunity here.
Can we go inside? I'm absolutely freezing.
With stealth, I might secure the prize...
long-term, forever in my debt.
I could gain everything...
by doing nothing.
Look, Bar...
I know you have to tell them.
You know, the head, the, uh, school.
All I ask is that you wait till the new year.
Please. I'm begging you.
Please let me have this Christmas with my family.
Oh, you poor thing.
You've got yourself into a state.
I'm not going to report you. I want to help you...
to support you through this.
You're not- not going to tell?
You won't tell anyone?
Who would it benefit? Not you or the boy.
Certainly not the school. No, this is a private matter.
We must keep it so.
Yes.
Maybe I should resign.
Oh, no. No, that might alert suspicion.
No, you must stay at the school, but the affair must end.
Your solemn promise.
I can't help you if you don't promise.
I promise.
So you'll tell him straight after Christmas?
- It's all for the best. - I know.
Thank you so much. You've been so brilliant.
And you'll tell me when it's done?
Oh, you never said.
[ Barbara ] Standard issue for spinsters.
Actually, she's been off her food recently. I've been a bit worried about her.
There's a terrific vet up the road. He was great with Ben's rabbit.
Got many people coming tomorrow?
Mmm. My lot. Richard's lot, including first wife.
Oh. And your mother?
- Oh, yes. - Well, happy Christmas.
Yeah, you too. Thank you so much.
Courage, mon brave.
[ Barbara Narrating ] And bon voyage to her little leprechaun.
[ Engine Starts ]
Sheba and I share a deep understanding now.
No one can violate our magnificent complicity.
No, no, no! Wait till tomorrow!
Stop. [ Laughs ]
You've been gone ages.
Oh, Barbara was a lit- Oh, some school thing.
- How's his nibs? - Oh, still awake.
He's madly excited. I said he could stay up for you.
And Polly?
Depressed.
- Oh. - Uh, Pete phoned.
They had a row, and he's not coming tomorrow.
Do you think he's bad news?
Well, these older men can be very dodgy.
[ Chuckles ]
[ Knocking ]
[ Polly ] Did Daddy tell you?
He's gonna bin me. I know it.
You're very lovely, darling. He's clever enough to appreciate it.
[ Sobbing ] I'm fat as fuck, Mum.
He'll be back.
I can't live without him.
Oh.
[ Barbara Narrating ] Her fetish for the boy was simply her snobbery manifested.
He's working-class, and he likes art.
As ifhe were a monkey whojust strolled out of the rain forest...
and asked for a gin and tonic.
## [ Piano ]
Have you heard from that friend of yours, Barbara?
Bar? Wakey-wakey.
Lorraine was asking if you'd heard from that nice friend of yours.
- Who? -Jennifer Dodd.
Oh. She left the school.
She's teaching in a primary at Stoke.
There's a chap, apparently. I heard they're engaged.
But it's true. It would be insane, wouldn't it?
It's the most ridiculous possible time for him to be selling.
Well, that's what I said. I said that.
He should give me a ring. It's absolute madness for him.
- There you are, darling. - Well, I am happy to give- I am happy to speak to him.
I'm none of the kind. I'm nothing of the kind.
Darling? Can we have gravy, darling?
Darling, there's no gravy.
[ Chattering Continues ]
[ Cell Phone Beeping ]
[ Richard Shouts ]
[ Chattering Continues ]
[ Richard ] It's taking half an hour to explain the whole thing.
[ Chattering Continues ]
[ Woman ] Ever since Ronald died, she's drifted inexorably.
You see, her father was an exceptional man.
Exceptional.
Bathsheba's a loner, I'm afraid.
She's beautiful, thank God, and it's got her through...
- but it's not quite the same as possessing substance. - [ Woman ] Mm-hmm.
[ Steven ] Happy Christmas.
What are you doing here? Everyone's inside.
Aren't you gonna open it?
Oh.
It's- It's made of real fake gold.
Thank you.
What's up? I haven't heard from you.
I can't see you anymore.
I'm sorry. I-
I just can't. It's over.
- [ Door Opens ] - Why?
Bash? Bash?
She's not here.
- [ Door Closes ] - Was that your dad?
No. It was an uncle.
Do you wanna end it?
Please don't look at me like that.
- Have you gone off me? - No.
You should go. Please don't make-
Just go.
[ Chattering ]
She gave you what?
- [ Chuckles ] What color are they? - Is it Pete?
White?
[ Chattering Continues, Indistinct ]
[ Sobbing ]
[ Sobbing Continues ]
[ Barbara Narrating ] I long to phone ''S, ''but it's late.
Poor girl. All alone with her awful family.
Our lives are acutely similar in so many respects.
[ Knocking ]
[ Woman ] Sis?
Oh. Writing the old diary?
I can't imagine how you keep at it.
[ Laughs ] I'd have nothing to say.
- [ Cat Mews ] - Oh.
Hello.
You know, you're welcome whenever you want.
Not just once a year.
It's just that I'm rather busy at the moment.
Your racy London life. [ Laughs ]
Well, I'm glad it's so full.
I'm sorry aboutJennifer. She was lovely.
Is there anyone else? Someone else who's special?
I don't know what you mean.
I didn't- I didn't mean to pry.
- [ Train Passing ] - [ Moaning ]
Belated Christmas present.
Oh, thank you.
Oh, my word! Asprey.
- [ Sighs ] - How is she?
You are the most wonderful friend.
Any good?
It's a masterpiece.
Don't they teach you anything?
We used to worship her.
## [ Woman Singing, Indistinct ]
- Take it off. - What's it for?
Just take it off, please. I'm-I'm still making it.
Yeah, but why?
It-It's for my son.
- But he's 1 2, isn't he? - He's got Down syndrome.
## [ Continues, Indistinct ]
You never said.
Right.
Sorry.
- [ Cat Retching ] - Oh!
Oh.!
[ Man ] I'm sure she's had a very happy life.
Oh, yes. She has. Thank you.
We could make her feel more comfortable for the next few weeks...
but it will be weeks rather than months.
You've had a terrible shock.
Where's Richard? I don't want to disturb your weekend.
It's fine. Everyone's out.
[ Cell Phone Ringing ]
[ Ringing Stops ]
Can they treat her?
He says it's just a matter of weeks.
[ Sobbing ] She's only a pet.
Oh, no! I cried for weeks when our dog died. Weeks.
One does get so attached.
[ Sighs ]
I should leave you in peace.
Yeah.
I like that top. It suits you.
- Oh, thanks. - [ Cell Phone Beeping ]